I am beautiful… I am lovable.


First things first. Please click the link, read the article and watch the video (only 5 minutes of your time).  Then, come back here.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/01/opinion/black-women-and-natural-hair.html?src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB

Have you done what I asked of you? OK, good. Please continue reading.

I am a 56 year old Caucasian woman. All the women in the video are Black women, young, old, and in-between. They are doing a very brave thing in the face of social pressure. They are returning to their natural Goddess-given-genetically-gifted look. They are doing this to please themselves. They have learned that they are beautiful, just as they are made. But – you know what? It’s not just them. ALL OF US ARE BEAUTIFUL. Every woman on the Planet Earth is BEAUTIFUL.

I am curious to know how many of you read my blog, but choose not to post… or how many of you are painfully shy… or how many of you think you have nothing “worthy” to share… or how many of you don’t even know that you are a part of a supportive Sisterhood that is waiting to interact with YOU. Maybe it’s because you simply can’t fathom that there really are women who would stand-up for their sisters… who aren’t catty… who won’t belittle you or bully you… because that is what you learned in “real life” as you grew up… or maybe, that’s what you are experiencing right now, at your workplace or in your school or in your own family.

Well, this article has pushed me over the edge, and it’s time to step up, Goddess Women of the WORLD. Your hair does not matter. Your skin color does not matter. Your job or career does not matter. Your marital status does not matter. Your sexual preference does not matter. Nothing matters but the BEAUTY OF YOUR FEMALE HUMAN SOUL. It shows through your eyes… through your kindness… through your acts of charity… through your support for others who are strangers to you. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Some of you – many of you – may not believe this. These words may never have passed your lips… “I am beautiful.”

You may look into a mirror each morning and think… “ugh… how ugly I am…” And then, the negative self-talk begins… the self-abuse… I’m unlovable… I’m too fat… my hips are too wide… my stomach hangs… my breasts are too large… my breasts are too small… I had cancer and I have no breasts at all anymore, and I wish I were dead… my teeth aren’t white enough… my breath stinks… I can’t afford a dentist and my teeth are falling out from decay… it hurts so bad… I’m unlovable… I’m getting old and my hair is thinning… I have alopecia and I’m ashamed I’m bald under this cheap wig… my feet are so huge… my feet are ugly, I have corns and bunions… I can’t walk without a cane… I cant walk at all, because I’m missing a leg… I can’t have a relationship because nobody would want to see my ugly stump… I’m unlovable… I don’t have children… I’m infertile… I can’t create life… I’m not a “real” woman… I’m unlovable… I wish I’d never had children… I’m so short-tempered, I want to hit them like I was hit at their age… I’m scared… I’m depressed… I can’t confide in anyone… I’m unlovable… I’m stupid… I can’t understand math… I can’t balance a checkbook… I never got my diploma… I’m ignorant… I don’t understand what they’re talking about on the news programs… I have dyslexia… I can’t read or spell… my children would be ashamed if they knew… I only pretend to help them with their homework… I can’t meet their teachers, they might ask me questions I can’t answer… I’d rather they all just think I don’t care… I’m unlovable… I’m deaf… I’m cross-eyed… I’m blind… I bite my nails, and tear at the skin, until my fingers bleed… my hands are ugly… I am missing fingers and it’s hard to do anything involving my hands… I’m too thin… I am anorexic and I can’t believe I’m not fat… I’m bulimic… if anyone knew I binged, they’d be disgusted by me… I’m disgusted by me… I cut myself to release the pain… I used to shoot up… I miss the drugs… I’m so tempted for just a little relief… my body is hideous, the scars are everywhere… I can’t wear short sleeves… I can’t find work… I’m a failure… I’m poor… I can’t feed my family… I have to visit a church food pantry… I shoplift food, because I’m too ashamed to ask for charity… I’m unlovable… I trade sex for money to feed my family… my spouse hits me, and I lie about how I got the bruises because I am afraid, and I believe it when I’m told I’m unworthy because my parents did and said the same things when I was growing up… my spouse left me because I’m worthless… I don’t know how to love because nobody ever showed me how… I’m unlovable.

Are you crying? Good. That means I hit a nerve. That means you are alive and worth saving whether you agree or not. Because of some things, and in spite of others… YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and LOVABLE. To Hell with all that negative inner chatter, and to Hell with those who think otherwise. It’s not you who are unworthy, it’s THEM.  So please, take the first step. Do it for me, if you can’t do it for yourself. Post here. Write-out the words: “I am beautiful. I am lovable.” Even if you don’t quite believe it… “act as if.” Then, when you feel yourself sliding downhill, you can come back here and read those six words, and the posts of other sisters, and know in your heart of hearts that we are a family to which you belong, a sisterhood of those who see your beauty… those who love you… and you can reach out and contribute without fear of being rejected or belittled.  You are safe here, sisters. You are beautiful, and I love you all.

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6 Comments

  1. sunshineelf said,

    June 2, 2012 at 11:29 am

    I am beautiful. I am lovable.

    Thank you.

    Like

  2. Lesley Hogg said,

    June 2, 2012 at 11:32 am

    “I am beautiful. I am lovable.” I did not cry I was grinning! You helped me get there my beautiful soul sister. You have such great purpose, I’m honored that I was allowed to experience “you” and your beauty in this lifetime. Forever, you are my sister and I love you!

    Like

  3. Marjolein said,

    June 3, 2012 at 5:16 am

    thank you! You write so much with emotion!
    I am beautiful. I am lovable!

    Like

  4. Sunshine Fae said,

    June 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Wow! I love your blog and as usual, you have touched a spot in my soul that needed to be touched!

    I am beautiful and loveable! And I am slowly embracing my natural self too. Cutting down on the makeup and am letting my hair grow longer even tho’ it is thin and fine. I love living alone and not looking for a man to take care of me. I can take care of me.

    I stand with you and honor all women! Blessed be!

    Like

  5. Emily Dove said,

    January 11, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    YOU are beautiful and so am I!!

    Like

  6. Les K said,

    June 7, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    I came upon your blog accidentally, and it seemed synchronistic and perfect. I’m almost 50 years old, and for the first time in my life, I see all the good things I am, including beauty. I went around life working hard in my career, attached to the outcome, hoping that it would define my self-worth. It can be quite disappointing, when you make efforts for people that don’t really appreciate it… and ignore those that do appreciate you for who you are… and then I realized, I wasn’t doing anything for me. I was looking outside for approval and encouragement and losing passion for my wants and desires. After a half a century, I realized that I didn’t love myself enough, and then it was hard to love others with all my soul. It’s when you smile at yourself, in all it’s imperfections, that you realize how perfectly imperfect you are. Smiling changes everything.

    So, thank you for this, because it came to me by accident at a time I needed to love myself just a little bit more.

    Namaste
    Lesley

    Like


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